I will use a scale of one to ten. One being the lowest and ten the highest level of energy, my best days are when I have positive energy from people around me. However my energy is still lower than others regardless. Say your energy level is at a eight on a regular day, mine would be at a six. The lower my energy level the harder to cope with the smallest of undertakings I have trouble with. Others wonder why I can’t keep hobbies on continuing to write. I get stressed and defeated more than others quickly. When others with a energy level of eight can keep pushing on through all the shit that life throws at them. For anyone who suffers daily from these debilitating mental illnesses knows exactly what I mean.
To control this disorder I have, to have some control I need to be on higher dosages than the regular person with a typical classification of epilepsy. I hate it for this reason. No amount of medication, classification or surgery can help control the malformation I have.
My mind is constantly spinning and there is nothing to control it. I sit here and listen to my music and still hear that voice in the back of my head feeding me negative thoughts about my life and how to fill my day.
I had a really negative comment come in! If you don't like what I have to say, don't bother commenting please. This is My blog and I have some mental illnesses. I am doing this for people with mental illnesses not to be criticized for something I have absolutely no control over. I know people with day to day struggles will understand.